When I was 18, I entered an abusive and codependent relationship that lasted a little over 10 years. It was mentally and physically exhausting. After 10 years of being together I became pregnant and we had our child. I felt even more trapped and obligated to give our relationship another chance (after countless chances) for at least a year. The year flew by and the same patterns continued and I had to make a choice. I decided it was time to do what was best for myself and my child. I did not want our child growing up thinking that this was normal behavior and that it was okay to treat someone this way. Soon after separating, my feelings teetered back and forth between worry and relief. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and the more time that passed, the more confident in my choice I became. When my ex suddenly out of the blue decided to take me to court to fight for custody my feelings of worry came back. I reached out to the Domestic Violence Action Center, where I was able to connect with others who went through similar situations and it helped make the process go by a little easier because I felt supported. Fast forward to a year later… court is done. I have full custody and I continue to work on my healing journey. There is hope for a healthier future but you have to make a choice. Don’t be scared but do recognize that it might get worse before it gets better, but believe me it’s worth it in the long run. Remember it’s okay to ask for help and organizations like DVAC are here for you when you are ready.
Domestic Violence Action Center
Domestic Violence Action Center
Testimonial 1: “We got in an argument, and he put his arms around me and tried to strangle me.”
Testimonial 2: “She felt she had to choose between him and the family, because if she chose the family, she would lose him.”
Testimonial 3: “You never quite knew what would set him off… but I saw that he would be very charming with me, but very abrupt with my sister -- and it bothered me a lot.”
Testimonial 4: “We’re talking about an eighty-nine year old man and an eighty-four year old woman. You know, who would ever imagined that domestic violence would’ve affected their lives.”
Super: “Domestic violence isn’t limited to one certain neighborhood. And it happens in all kinds of families. Domestic Violence can happen to anyone. Domestic violence is everywhere and it’s hiding in plain sight.”
